Where Michael Fails In Amusing Ways
by confetticas
Summary: Michael has been told of the importance of Valentine's Day, and he does his best to make it perfect for his mates, cage or no cage. It doesn't go quite the way he plans.


**Title**: Michael's Valentine Day Disaster  
><span><strong>Author<strong>: confetticas  
><span><strong>Genre andor Pairing**: Michael/Adam/Lucifer/Sam, cracky cage!fic fluff  
><span><strong>Spoilers<strong>: Nothing past Swan Song.  
><span><strong>Warnings<strong>: language?  
><span><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: Nothing belongs to me!  
><span><strong>Word Count<strong>: 677  
><span><strong>Summary<strong>: Michael has been told of the importance of Valentine's Day, and he does his best to make it perfect for his mates, cage or no cage. It doesn't go quite the way he plans.

Adam cannot believe what his eyes are seeing. It's just… Well, at least he's fairing better than Sam, who has taken several wary steps backwards, and run into the bars, a pained, horrified whimper escaping his lips as he examines their surroundings. This is a completely understandable reaction, in Adam's opinion - after all, he's pretty sure that this has to be a nightmare. Right? It has to be. It just does.

Except that in the cage, no one needs to sleep.

The cage.

Which looks like pink threw up on it. There – there are pink roses spiraling around the bars, none left untouched. There is red and pink confetti on the ground. Hearts. There are heart shaped, baby pink clouds floating in the air. Michael stands in the middle of it all, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. Lucifer looks almost as smug, though Adam's betting on the devil being smug for an entirely different reason. Two guesses who gave Michael this idea, first one doesn't count.

"I'm going to be sick," Adam blurts without entirely thinking through the consequences of voicing this thought.

Michael's face falls, the archangel looks pretty much devastated. "You do not like it?"

Adam bites his tongue on the urge to explain how much he doesn't like it. "It's very… interesting," he tries in his best diplomatic voice. Adam's best diplomatic voice isn't a very _convincing_ diplomatic voice, but he gives it his best shot. Diplomacy is Sam's job, and Sam is currently too horrified to do it. Adam understands. He really does.

Michael looks even more upset.

Sam manages to stop making pitiful whining noises and speak. "Michael," he says in a pained sort of voice. "Who exactly told you about Valentine's day?"

"Gabriel." Michael looks puzzled by the question.

Sam throws his hands up in the air. "Well, _that_ explains _everything_," he says conveying both exasperation and amusement. "Fucking _glitter_," he adds under his breath in disdain, and Adam is _not_ curious enough to ask for details. "This is…" Sam pauses, looking a little desperate as he searches for the words. "Um. Michael… oh, screw it," Sam gives up on his attempt to explain without hurting Michael's feelings even more and sighs, crossing the length of the cage and urging Adam on behind him. "There is a much simpler, less nauseatingly pink, way to express your affection, Michael."

Michael frowns at Sam, and Adam, who's reached the same conclusion and seems delighted by it, pausing to grab Lucifer's arm and pull him along, too. "Look," Adam says calmly, "It's not like you were _wrong_ to want to celebrate the holiday. It's just that it looks like pink vomited in here and it isn't really us."

Lucifer's perfectly maintained smirk melts into somewhat hysterical laughter. Michael catches on and scowls at his little brother, fighting a slight smile. "You tricked me," he accuses.

"It's just so," Lucifer snickers. "When I said pink and _red_, I thought you'd lean towards _red_. I have been thoroughly upstaged, I don't think our humans were this horrified when we stalked them and begged them to be our vessels."

Sam and Adam would probably both have arguments against this point, but Michael's hands are in interesting places and words have sort of failed everyone except Lucifer. "I have to say that honestly, Michael, I'm quite proud of –" Lucifer tries to keep talking, but Sam's lips and tongue make it a little difficult.

"Oh!" Michael says suddenly, pulling away, evidently having reached a realization more important than their current activities. "And I almost forgot to say it, Happy Val–"

Adam cuts him off with a searing kiss, because holiday greetings are absolutely not, under any circumstances whatsoever, a good excuse to postpone sex. In fact, Adam's pretty sure there isn't a good enough excuse anywhere to postpone sex.

Coherent thought becomes somewhat impossible after this, but by the end of the day Sam and Adam are in agreement that they can forgive just about anything that ends the way Michael's Valentine's Day Disaster has.

/


End file.
